No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Green mimosas i think yes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
