Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
