Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
