the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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