So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
