Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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