dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
