no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
