Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
