found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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