I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
