no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
