'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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