you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Randomize