Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You need Xanax blowdarts
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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