Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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