He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
