the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
