I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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