no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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