In the future we'll all be gay
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
