He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
