Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize