Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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