They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
