We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
