Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
