Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize