she was so not down for the gang bang
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
