Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
