She's JV to your varsity
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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