and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
