so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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