Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
