you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
