I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
