she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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