so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
