So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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