she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
