Can Purell be used as lube?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize