he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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