It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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