do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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