Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dude. I can hear the air.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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