It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
