her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
