I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
