As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
