You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize