i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
