i wish my penis had a tongue
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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