Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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