Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cannot find my penis.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize