But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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