tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
