I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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