Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
