bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
