We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
