She bit a glass in half.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
