Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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