every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
