i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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